Social Networking Nightmare

                Jessie Bender is just another name in a long list of sweet innocent young victims that have gone missing after meeting predators on sites like Facebook. Benders’ Mom said that she last saw her daughter at 1:47 am the morning of Tuesday, February 22^nd 2011. She was online chatting with a 14 year old boy she met on Facebook.

Stories like that one flood the internet, and yet people still don’t seem to see the danger of allowing their teenagers to go onto Social Networking sites unchecked. One Mom of a murdered young girl stated that of the 400 friends her daughter had on Facebook all of them were people she knew. Seventeen year old high school students do not know four hundred people well enough to friend them online, yet parents continue to turn a blind eye. We are allowing predators into our homes every day, practically giving them a key to the front door.

In his book To Catch a Predator, Author Chris Hansen describes a scenario where the father left the computer in the family room as instructed by the NCMEC, and his daughter still met a boy in a Christian chat room, was abducted and murdered. Stories like this is why Hansen and MSNBC have worked so hard on the Catch a Predator program, trying to show how these monsters work, and what parents can do to safe guard their children.

  Seventeen year old Ashleigh Hall, and fifteen year old Demi Wright, both of London disappeared after meeting men on Facebook.  The Mail Online, describes Demi Wright as a naïve and immature, and her mother stated that if it weren’t for Social Networking sites, Demi would have stayed around people she knew, and not tried to meet someone off the internet.

It’s not fair to lay all the blame on social networking sites like Facebook. However while sites like Facebook can be helpful for networking in the business world, it is not a good place to leave children unchecked. Children are sweet, innocent, naïve, which is what predators count on.

These predators don’t achieve their goals overnight, they spend weeks even months grooming a child for an abduction.  How can parents safeguard their children from these kinds of offenders? Short of keeping the child secluded and not allowing them access to the internet?

One company recommends a keystroke logger, with so many predators now surfing the web, parents need to take every precaution to safeguard their children by observing what teens are doing at all times. However, knowing what a teen or child is doing online is often a challenging task for many parents, but that is why surveillance tools such as keystroke logger systems are available and popular. Parents are usually overly eager to spy on their children. Are there options other than blocking the internet, or spying on your children to keep them safe?

There are a lot of options.  Ehow lists some interesting suggestions; most of them should seem like common sense. For instance don’t post updates that include that you are about to go somewhere, or about to do something, or that you just returned from somewhere that is a weekly occurrence.  Parents should really consider it taking it a step further. Is it necessary to use social networking sites like Facebook and Myspace to update family and friends? Whatever happened to talking on the phone and having face to face visits with family and friends?

Ehow’s suggestions included lying about your children’s names, or not posting your exact location. Other suggestions include having your child lie about their age, if the child claims to be an adult than child predators will leave them alone. While not posting your exact location is a good idea, lying never is. Why teach children that lying is okay? A better source for advice is the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children; which includes a special source Netsmartz411.

When it comes too dishonestly, Netsmartz411 says “there are some risks with having your child pretend to be an adult. Many online services have protections in place specifically for those under 18.  Furthermore, Adults online may contact your child believing it to be another adult. So your child could be communicating with adults, and may be sent inappropriate content by adults, who are not aware they are conversing with a minor. Also there are fewer restrictions on social networking sites for adults, so your child may have access to other areas online which could be considered inappropriate for their respective age.  

Social networking sites are popular, free online communities that connect people from all over the world. Like many other social networking sites, registered users can create personalized profiles and post images, videos, blogs, or descriptions of themselves. Like most new technological developments, this brings both positive and negative implications.
Social networking sites incorporate instant messaging, chat rooms, profiles, pictures, E-mail, and blogging all in one site. Anyone who is a member of these sites can easily contact any other user through the site. It is up to your child to know not to respond. If used safely, these sites can be a positive way for children to express themselves and connect with their friends and family. Here are some tips for safer social networking.

Talk to your children about the possible risks and future repercussions their online activities. View their profile or blog together. If your child is not willing to do this, then your child may have information on their blog or profile they do not want you to see and should not have posted not giving out personal information, such as names, school, city, or e-mail address. This includes making or posting plans and activities on the site posting pictures online; once an image is posted anywhere on the Internet (even on a profile with private settings), it may never be completely erased from the Internet, even if it is deleted the dangers of communicating with people they have never met in person.

Remind them that people on the Internet are not always who they say they are coming to you or another trusted adult if he or she ever feels threatened or uncomfortable about something online using privacy settings to restrict who can and cannot access their profile or blog. Teach children to only accept people as friends if they know and trust them in real life Monitor what your child's friends are posting regarding your child's identity. Often children and their friends have accounts linked to one another, so it's not just your child's profile and information you need to worry about. Familiarize yourself with the social networking website’s features and safety tips 
Report any illegal content to: the appropriate law enforcement agency; www.CyberTipline.com; your Internet Service Provider; and the social networking website’s webmaster.”

The most important thing a parent can remember is that there is a lot of good advice on keeping children safe on the internet. There is also a lot of bad advice,  a parents best bet is to go to reliable sources, the National Center of Missing and Exploited Children, Netsmartz411, America’s Most Wanted, even the FBI has listings of valuable tips. Internet safety is possible, and there are trained experts out there willing to help you.